Brace yourselves: Baby is coming!

Do I really want to go through all this again?

We have about three months left until still un-named baby boy number two makes his grand entrance into this crazy world. I did not think I would be this nervous the second time around, but there are just as many unknowns. Especially when it comes to breastfeeding again.

I nursed Daniel for almost two years. I have experience with just about every breastfeeding problem one can have (except mastitis, thankfully). I know what to do for engorgement, latch issues, bloody nipples, thrush, low supply... I've cried through them all, and I have Lactation Consultant Mom and Supportive Hubby to cheer me on through anything that may come up.

But will knowing what to expect make it any easier when it's 4am, baby has been cluster-feeding for eight hours, and I don't know how I can keep going?

What if he's like Daniel, and no matter what technique I try, he will not latch properly?

I know that it isn't the most positive thing to say, but there was a lot I did not enjoy about breastfeeding the first time.

It. Was. Hard.

I had friends who saw me struggle, and were completely baffled. Nursing their babies was an easy, magical bonding experience. I have no idea what that is like, but maybe I will this time.

Or maybe I won't.

It doesn't really matter, because when I look at my thriving two and a half -year old, I know that my husband and I made the right decision when we decided that I would nurse our babies for as long as I could. There are a lot of things about parenting that are not easy. For me, one of those things was breastfeeding.

And that's okay.

It doesn't make me a bad mommy. In fact, I like to think difficulty made me better. I did what was best for my baby despite the physical pain, inconvenience, frustration that I felt.

I'm sure that there will be days of hardship later that I will be reminded that if I could get through breastfeeding, I can get through anything else parenting wants to throw at me!